It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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