I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
