and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
