He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
