if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
it's like iHOP with fire
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
