i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
