dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
