When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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