people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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