Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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