Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
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