I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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