Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
