I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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