i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
