guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
