Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
