Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
there was a trapeze. enough said
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
