Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
we should paint friendship bongs
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
