I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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