operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
