So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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