even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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