i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize