Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I'm lost and stupid without you.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
