I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
