is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
