i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
