Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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