Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
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