When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
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