the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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