Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
