Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(773): View more from Illinois

I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying

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(404): View more from Georgia

Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...

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(513): View more from Ohio

sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.

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(704): View more from North Carolina

He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages

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(618): View more from Illinois

I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.

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(613): View more from Ontario

My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.

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(224): View more from Illinois

And then the night went full on bisexual.

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry

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