She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
