i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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