I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Randomize
