spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
