My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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