So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
