Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
well you can't waste a boner
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
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