Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
PANTIES FOUND
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