GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Randomize
