My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Randomize
