The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
