My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
try to milk me bitch
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