He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
