just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
