Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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