in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I just found a bag of teeth...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
