After last night, I could never be a politician.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
