Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
