Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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