get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize