you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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