She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
either way he was missing a nipple.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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