I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
