it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
