I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
