I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize