discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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