Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
wakey wakey hands off snakey
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
