It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
