Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Dicks are not precious.
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
Randomize
