But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
