did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
