Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
