she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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