All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
There is no way to say this. Dude, I peed your bed. No questions, no answers. My flight leaves in 30 minutes. Use my detergent. Also, THE VODKA IN THE FRIDGE IS YOURS.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
