We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize