i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
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