Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
